Warden Side
by surfergirl3537
Summary: The battelfield was the last place Alex Cousland expected to find her lost love. But war is more than death and destruction, for even in the darkest places there is a light that no evil can touch. F!WardenxLeliana AU Modern
1. Shadowplay

**A/N**: This is kind of a sequel to my other story _Where the Future Takes Us_ this occurs ten years later. This is not at all canon considering Alistair and Alex aren't the only two wardens…*gasp* coming up with your own story and not following the game? Shocker well it is fanfiction so quit bitching. If there is any grammar or spelling errors I apologize, I have no beta. Enjoy!

Also, I do not have Mages, and chose to make spirit healers: doctors, or in Anders and Wynne's case a Grey Warden nurse/medic. Other mages could be in charge of heavy artillery or brilliant chemists (which is as close to magic as one can get in modern times…I guess).

Disclaimer: I own nothing…Bioware has the money I'm just a poor college kid. Though I think it's safe to say I own the idea of a futuristic blight...? Maybe? Title is inspired by _Soldier Side_ which belongs to System of a Down and I do NOT own them in any sort of way.

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><p>"I want three teams of five scouting out the perimeter and setting up barricades," Alex ordered her team of Grey Wardens as they were all squished in her tent receiving their orders for the new mission. "Alistair and I will discuss last minute issues and decide what to do with the army once they arrive. Got it?" there were grunts of acknowledgment from the men who knew better than to question their Captain's orders, "move out then," Alex stated in a 'duh' tone clearly annoyed with the men she worked with – well Alistair was the exception there was little doubt in her mind that she would be dead if it weren't for him saving her ass.<p>

"Seems a bit daft to secure and defend such an insignificant city like Lothering don't you think?" she asked Alistair leaning back in her chair until the front legs were off the ground.

"Perhaps, it has been said that thousands of years ago Lothering was completely destroyed by a Blight. I think that they don't want a repeat. Besides Lothering has become somewhat of an icon for all that it's been through."

"That may be, but compared to Denerim or even Redcliffe, this place is nothing. We should be evacuating these people and set up a defense for Redcliffe. But we have our orders, last time I checked it isn't wise to go against the Warden Commander." That much was true, as nice as Duncan was outside of his duties, disobeying direct orders was basically asking for a death sentence. Unlike the other armed forces, Wardens had their own rules and were deemed barbaric by others when it came to training. Both men and women were killed by the sheer intensity of the pre-warden training. And if one wished to back out, they also met death. For once, an individual decides to become a Warden, they are one until death or time frees them. A member on Alex's training squad decided that the risks were too great and wished to quit his training and return home to Redcliffe to his wife and unborn child. Duncan showed him no mercy and executed him on the spot only muttering a small apology. The harsh reality hit Alex hard and she knew from there on out her fate was sealed and understood the last of the Grey Warden motto: _In death: sacrifice_.

"You're thinking about her aren't you?" Alistair teased raising and eyebrow at Alex's silence a slight smirk playing at his lips.

"Actually no, I'm not. Besides which her are _you_ talking about?" Alex responded with a cocky smile. Throughout the years as a Warden, Captain Cousland had been very popular with the ladies – at least those interested in other women. With her flashing white teeth, stunning blue eyes and confident smile, she could send hearts beating faster and even send strict Chantry sisters swooning. Her short cropped hair even earned her attention from those interested in a male companion for the night and tended to be sadly disappointed with the officer's true gender.

"I think you know who I'm talking about," Alistair said slowly watching the smile slowly fade and the mischievous glint disappear from his friend's eyes, "but since you weren't thinking about her it matters not," he hastily added not wanting to get on her notorious bad side.

"Great. Now I'm thinking about _her_. I just don't get why she left. We had a plan, but I guess me being a Warden was too much. But whatever," the sadness was quickly replaced by the authority act she used when it was time to be the captain she was, "send in Daveth, Nathaniel and that medic, uhh…Anders. Those three plus two militia men will take care of the Southeastern post with me. And before you ask, I only want Nathaniel on my team because I need a damn good sniper. I still hate his guts though." Her eyes darkened slightly before continuing, "Anyways, choose six men and guard the Northwestern area – by the Chantry – Two members on your team will aid in evacuation. I was informed that two C-130 Hercules' will be coming at fifteen-hundred hours. I want women, children and those in critical condition, bedded at the clinic, on them first. The clinic is full causing the Chantry to become a makeshift one. When the time comes talk to Wynne and get three nurses on each plane. Dismissed Lieutenant," with a curt nod Alistair turned to exit the tent before stopping in his tracks once Alex started again, "but yes, I think about her every day." Alex added softly before setting the chair in its proper position to study Lothering's layout once again.

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><p>"So let me get this straight. We sit out here for Maker knows how long until some fictional creatures attack?' Anders muttered as the team sat around their designated post. Anders was one of the newer members of the Grey Wardens on Alex's brigade only have been with her for a year and a half. The ex-fugitive was conscripted as a medic when he saved Alistair's life in a mini skirmish in Amaranthine. In some mysterious way, Anders escaped prison several times where he was serving sixty years for practicing medicine without a license along with malpractice. The police were less than thrilled when Alex claimed him for the Wardens, but they could not question her motives for recruiting the fugitive any further.<p>

"Yes," Alex tersely replied not taking her eyes off her current task of filing magazines for her SIG Sauer handgun. "We're taking six hour shifts. So I suggest getting to know the others Anders that way you know if you risk being shot in the ass for excessive talking."

"Somebody's a little touchy," came the sing-song voice of Anders a goofy smile plastered onto his face, "come on Captain, what's wrong? Job too boring for you? I'll tell you what's boring. Solitary confinement. Now _that's_ boring. You'd go crazy I tell you nothing to do at all! I used to get a rock throw it somewhere then go feel around for it. It was quite entertaining. Other times I –" he gave a yelp as a third party member pinched his ear.

"She only acts like this when I'm around" came a deep voice.

"Damn right. Now release Anders' ear," came Alex's terse order clenching her teeth in anger.

"Am I sensing some history between you two?"

"**NO!**" Alex and Nathaniel shouted synchronized. Placing the half full magazine aside Alex glared up at Nathaniel. "That bastard's father killed my parents, sister –in–law and my six year old nephew!" she roared stunning Anders, her tone clearly telling him that the story was not going to be repeated. "The only reason he's here because he's a damn good sniper I would've killed him along with his farther," she snarled going back to loading the last of the bullets.

When the news of Bryce and Eleanor Cousland's death reached Alex she became enraged and requested time off to hunt her parents' killer down. When she caught Howe the man was nearly dead by the time SWAT was able to pry the then new Warden off of the older man. As a soldier, Alex faced military disciplinary action while Howe went to court on four accounts of first degree murder. Found guilty he was sentenced to death and Alexandra Cousland, the youngest of her line carried out the duty by shooting him execution style – one bullet in the middle of the forehead. Even though the murderer was dead and closure was found, the emptiness in Alex's heart could not be filled and she buried herself in her Warden duties as well as trained her mabari, Jerry, to fight alongside her. But when Duncan placed Nathaniel Howe on her squad three years after executing his father, hell broke out and a new side of the cool, collective, and part-time serious woman emerged and to those around her, it was scary as hell. While a professional and somewhat mutual respect for the other formed, Alex was always put on edge when Nathaniel was around. His skills as a sniper were the only redeeming qualities of his surname.

"Ah...well have you guys seen these Darkspawn before? What do they look like?" Anders spoke up trying to change the mood as tension grew.

"No one really knows. There are drawings of them in some old Warden books but those are hundreds of years old" Nathaniel spoke up, "nowadays, they probably a zombie alien type thing, something out of a science fiction novel."

As if on cue a static radio signal went out and Alex replied asking for a repeat clearly flustered at the poor reading, before a response came shots were heard west of their position. "Shit. Howe, see if you can spot the leaders, take them out. Anders don't get hit you're the medic. Others prepare to shoot the shit outta them."

The sounds of gunfire confirmed Alistair's fears, the darkspawn were there already and the evacuation planes weren't! The two cargo planes that Alex told him about were at least thirty minutes away. . Once the citizens heard the shots, panic rose and spread like a wildfire, and the already challenging task now seems nearly impossible. But luckily critical patients, along with expectant and mothers with young children were prepared to board the planes once they touched down.

"Everyone remain calm!" he yelled through the bullhorn in the Chantry, "we have over three hundred Wardens and militia here. Us Grey Wardens have been specially trained to sense, locate and destroy darkspawn," _even though they haven't been seen in hundreds of years_ "But you all need to remain calm or else things will become more hectic."

_Lieutenant Theirin co-come in-n_. The broken words came through his radio as the large mass of people started talking again though not as panicked. _Alistair dammit! We took out scouts. I repeat they were only scouts. Planes should be there soon. And...I've been hit. Just saved a girl too and you won't believe who it is. 10-4. _He stood there frozen in chock. Could it really be…her? After ten years and Alex's brooding could it truly be?

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><p><strong>Twenty minutes earlier<strong>

Only scouts Nathaniel thought as he looked through his scope aiming for one. And boy were they ugly things, something straight out of a fantasy or sci-fi book or movie. His earlier prediction was right however, and they _did_ look like zombie aliens with futuristic guns. The scouts were short (genlocks if he remembered correctly) and moved swiftly, the armor looked light and most likely a single well-placed round could take them out. Holding his breath he placed his index finger on the trigger and as he exhaled he slowly squeezed until his shoulder was jerked back by the recoil. Mere seconds later the gunlock was thrown back several yards due to the sheer impact of the bullet. The others barely seemed fazed as their companion was killed. Nathaniel noticed that their attention was else were, following them through the scope he saw two women: one a red head and the other a brunette, who was clinging a child to her breast, were struggling to make their way to the safety of Lothering as the scouts advanced on them.

"Alex!" he called out keeping the Barrette rifle trained on another darkspawn, "two women, one with child. They need help!" he pulled the trigger again and another gunlock was slammed yards behind where it originally stood.

"Daveth, Jerry with me! Rest of you cover our asses." Without wasting any more time, Alex launched herself over the temporary barricade charging over to where the women were with Daveth and her mabari close behind. "Jerry take them out! Daeth grab the brunette," raising her gun she shouted at the two women to duck before pulling the trigger releasing several burst of bullets killing two scouts. Sliding the last several feet she came up aside the red head.

"Don't worry ma'am. I'm a Grey Warden. I'm going to have to carry you out to cut down on the risk of you being injured or killed." Without waiting for a reply Alex scoped her up bridal style and began running back. Before she stumbled forward falling to her knees letting out a hiss of pain as a bullet from the darkspawn hit her in the arm. "Dammit," pushing up once again she continued to run, the adrenaline keeping the pain at bay until she made it back safely to the makeshift barricades.

"Anders!" she cried out still holding the woman in her arms, "check Daveth and the other woman when they come. I'm going to take her to the Chantry and find Wynne to take care of my arm since she's made it her job to personally tend to each and every one of my wounds," she gave a humorless chuckle knowing what exactly would happen when Wynne discovered the reason she had been shot in the first place.

"I am perfectly capable of walking sir Warden," came an Orlesian accent as Alex continued to walk towards the Holy building.

"Ah of course you are," Alex muttered blushing slightly as she set her 'damsel in distress' down. "We need to get to the Chantry, my Lieutenant _should_ be there and so is my _personal_ nurse that will check us over." When the shorter woman raised her eyes to try and peer through Alex's sunglasses, the Warden felt her breath catch as she stared back at Leliana Nightingale.

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><p>Alright! There's part one! This will definitely be a two-shot, and perhaps a three-shot but we shall see what occurs in the future. If you have something nice or constructive to say leave a review if not keep your thoughts to yourself.<p>

In a futureistic setting, I'd imagine that Darkspawn would appear to be like aliens in sci-fi movies, games and even books.

Also I needed a last name for Leliana and I'm not creative enough to come up with one haha.

The SIG Sauer P226 and M4 Colt Commando are weapons used by many military forces throughout the world as well as the United States Navy SEALs, whom I have based the modernized Grey Wardens, well more of a cross between the Marines and SEALs with army ranking overall they equal one badass mother chucker. C-130 Hercules is a cargo/passenger transport aircraft used by the U.S. military.


	2. Howlin' for you

Disclaimer: I own nothing but a copy of this freaking awesome game and the laptop I used to write this.

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><p>"Are you sure you're alright?" Alex asked for the tenth time since they returned to the security of Lothering's Chantry walls. The Chantry was filled with women, children along with men injured or too weak to aid the soldiers in the upcoming battle. Leliana rolled her eyes yet again at the persistent Grey Warden who refused to take off the sunglasses and helmet in the Holy building; however, she could make out a deadly scar beneath the protective headgear. Leaning forward, Leliana attempted to look at the Warden's name but the awkward kneeling position they were in obstructed her view, causing further frustration as she fell back against the cot.<p>

"The answer is still the same sir," she replied in a tone suggesting that the Warden's care was annoying and unnecessary considering he – or she, Leliana could not tell and the voice could pass for either gender – just met her naught but twenty minutes ago. She knew what the Warden was trying to get at, he wanted to show that he truly cared for her, get a kiss then use some more choice words to win her into bed and once the fun was done he'd up and walk out without so much as a backward glance. She needed to distract him: "you on the other hand have been wounded!" she said feigning concern nodding towards the blood on her rescuers bicep. The clothing turned a deep crimson making the injury look far more fatal than the soldier claimed it actually was. The Warden gave an indifferent shrug and Leliana confirmed that they must have been in fact male - due to the lack of concern for bodily harm that most men possessed.

The scowl on his face turned to a smirk as he glanced at it brushing her concern off as if he could care less about his well-being. "It's only a flesh wound, Leli," the smirk growing more as he studied her reaction. Upon hearing her nickname roll easily off the stranger's tongue, she froze and stared wide-eyed at the eyes concealed by the dark sunglasses. She had not said her name once, nor had any identification on her person when they met. How could a complete and total stranger who just saved her life know who she was? Panic rose in her chest: did the Orlesian secret service tell the Fereldans to look for her? Was her Haven going to become her Hell? She tried to speak but the effects of shock had yet to disappear and she felt foolish opening and closing her mouth without sound coming from her.

"H-how?" she finally managed, her voice sounding foreign in her own ears.

The Warden tossed his head back and let out a laugh too merry for the situation at hand. _Oops never mind the Warden is a woman_ Leliana noted, the musical laugh confirming the true gender of the Warden. A gloved hand went to unstrap the helmet while the other removed the dark shades. Once the identity blockers were removed, Leliana stared into the piercing blue eyes of Alex Cousland. Disbelief returned to the Orlesian's face as she stared at her ex-girlfriend for the first time in nine years. "Hey," Alex offered weakly a smile slowly spreading over _her_ face. At a loss for words once again, Leliana lifted her hand to trace the nasty scar which started in the middle of Alex's forehead and trailed down across the right eye and ended slightly past the earlobe on her neck. Aside from the heavy scar running across the once flawless skin, Alex looked exactly the same with the exception of shorter hair making her look like a young man rather than the mature woman she became over the grueling years of service in the order. Haircuts were mandatory and part of the Grey Warden uniform for both men and women. Men had to have a close buzz cut while the women were required to have a short-boyish hairstyle.

A myriad of emotions bombarded Leliana as she stared in to those hypnotic eyes; confusion held her first then joy spread across the pale features, then relief to sorrow and finally anger. Anger in that in the years after their relationship ended, not one letter, phone call, e-mail or text message was sent to her; there was no word from Alex, her brother, parents or anyone else saying that she was officially a Grey Warden or died some horrible death. Closing her eyes, the red head waited until she was calm before addressing her high school sweethear. As much as she wanted to scream, hit and curse the youngest Cousland, hatred was the last thing needed in such a dire situation. Bottling up her angry emotions, Leliana opened her eyes, letting the tears of joy and frustration fall; gently Alex pulled her into an embrace, the body armor was uncomfortable to be pressed against but she didn't mind, for the first in nearly a decade she felt safe pressed against the unyielding hardness ballistic vest.

"I'm sorry," Alex whispered into her ear, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. It killed me, not being able to tell you. I'm sorry," the words spilt from the Warden as she continued to repeat them whilst running her fingers through Leliana's soft hair.

Once the tears subsided, Leliana leaned back and offered her savior a small broken smile. Using her thumbs to wipe away the last of the tears, Alex spoke up, "I have a couple of hours before I go on watch. We have a lot of catching up to do. And besides, I need this looked at," she nodded towards her bloody arm.

"Why is there always a pretty girl involved when you come to me injured?" Wynne lectured as she wrapped another layer of gauze around Alex's arm, which turned out to be worse than she originally anticipated. Leliana arched an eyebrow at the comment as deep blush spread across Alex's face as she gave an awkward cough to break some of the tension.

"You know I'm a sucker for a beautiful face," she replied after gaining some composure from the senior nurse's observant comment before wincing when the nurse tightened the bandage, "Anyways; Leliana this is Wynne – she's saved my ass and patched me up more times than I can count. Wynne, Leliana. And before you assume she's another pretty face I carelessly threw my body out to save, I'll have you know that I knew her prior to today's events," the old smug Alex Cousland was starting to resurface as she continued to mock Wynne, not that Leliana minded, she missed the person she dated for a year and a half, the macho Warden façade was too serious for the flirty jokester Alex was in previous years.

Rolling her eyes the old nurse exchanged greetings with her patient's friend be for leaving the two alone with explicit instructions that Alex leave the bandage on for three hours.

"How hot was she then?" startled by the blunt question Alex stared confused at the Orlesian.

"By the sounds of it, your acts of bravery occur only when beautiful women are involved. You always were such a charmer, and I'm sure risking life and limb must've earned you some company for a night or two. And if what Wynne said is true, your fair lady must have been gorgeous if it resulted in such a fatal scar."

"Oh..." Alex fell silent for several moments before bringing a hand up to trace her identity marker, the rough, raised skin bringing back memories she'd rather forget. The Warden's silence and the darkening of her eyes made Leliana think that she had treaded into unsavory waters, causing emotional pain to accompany Alex's wounded arm. "I'm sorry, that was rude of me," she blurted out taking the silence as one of a painful memory or shame.

"Nah it's cool. I got it when I was deployed in Antiva. Our team was sent in for a bust and to take out one of the Antiva Crow Lords. Why they needed six Ferelden Grey Wardens is beyond me, we're not really used for international missions so the mission seemed weird but we don't question our orders. Anyways, the area we went to was horrible, prostitutes everywhere, people high off their asses, and even corpses littered the streets. The whole timed we were on our toes and remained highly alert. We encountered a few drug deals and arrested two men – even though that's the police's job – but they're too corrupt to do their job, in that part of Antiva anyways. Our intelligence told us of a warehouse where the Lord was going to be overseeing a huge drug deal that was to transpire. When we finally got there, set up a perimeter and bust through it was empty, no furniture and certainly no Crows. As we left I took front lead and guided us out.

"As soon as we stepped out of the warehouse we were attacked. I was tackled by an insurgent who had a knife and somehow managed to slice through my helmet strap and knock it off my head. I dropped my M4 Colt and reached for my knife instead. I managed to throw him off of me and get up, but he was fast and before I could react he lunged at me and felt the sharp sting as the blade was dragged across my face. Blood was gushing out and I couldn't see very well. If it weren't for the others with me I'd definitely be dead. They arrested my assailant to question him. Once I got the blood out of my eyes I got a good look at the man and who was it? Zevran Arainai…he was as shocked to see me as I him, and truly regretted disfiguring me. The price for wounding a wearer of the Grey is death. But I cut a deal with him," Alex quickly added hearing Leliana's gasp and Alex assumed that the red head thought that their old friend was executed.

"He'd have to aid us in catching the Crow Lord we were after and once the mission was complete he would then go with us back to Ferelden and serve in the military as long as I remained with Wardens. And that Leli is how I got this scar. As you can tell no pretty girls involved."

"Wow that's quite a story, well if it means anything I think it looks sexy," Leliana stated knowing that it fed Alex's ego, but even she couldn't deny the fact that scars were a huge turn on for her. Feeling a bit bold and brash she placed a quick peck on Alex's scarred cheek before turning serious and asking the question that was in the back of her mind, "that one may not have been caused by a girl but Wynne made it seem like your other injures were?"

"Yes, I have been injured multiple times because I had to be the dashing knight in shining armor. Sometimes it was without thought and I wanted to save her. Others, it was a planned out mission and I got hurt in the process. Some rewarded me with a kiss or a little something extra. And before you ask yes, they were aware that I was a woman, well those who wanted more. But of all the women I have rescued I can honestly say that you, Leliana, are the most beautiful of them all," she finished with a wink and her trade mark smirk enjoying the Orlesian's blush of embarrassment, or what she thought was embarrassment.

The red spreading across Leliana's face was that of anger, how dare Alex try to pull those moves on her! The Warden thought her smooth words and clear blue eyes along with that killer smirk could win her some action for the night but Leliana have some choice words for her ex.

"Flattery will get you absolutely nowhere. I am furious at you for disappearing without a trace for years! And then you pop up out of nowhere with your shinny gun and swoop down and save me! I thought you were dead Alex! I _forced_ myself to move on and forget about you! You _broke_ my heart! You have no clue with what I've been through and who knows maybe if you kept in touch with me none of this would have happened! Those bimbos you saved and seduced with your 'Warden charms' or whatever will _not_ work on me. I will not be another warm body for you to use than dump when you move on to your next assignment. Do not try to defend yourself Alex, I've figured you out," the outburst caused the makeshift infirmary to go dead silent as everyone turned their attention towards the soldier and her angry companion. Without another word Leliana got up from her seat and stormed out of the area without so much as a backwards glance at the woman who saved her.

"Go back to doing whatever you were doing," the Warden snapped at the onlookers before lying back on the cot with a groan of frustration. She knew better than to expect that Leliana would fall straight back into her arms and that all would be right with the world. _Why do I always need to be the hero?_ She thought bitterly closing her eyes hoping that sleep would come soon before she returned to her watch. Alex sent a silent prayer to the Maker asking if he would be kind enough to spare her from seeing one angry red headed Orlesian later that day or tomorrow and if he would be willing to look after the said woman.

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><p><strong>AN:** Originally this was going to be a one shot with just this chapter, but I decided I need to stop being lazy and I'm attempting a short story, it will most likely be a three-shot.

I felt that having Alex as a snarky womanizer seemed much better than having her be this hard-ass Grey Warden all the time who only thinks about duty.

Once again, M4 Colt Commando is a weapon used by many military forces throughout the World.

Zevran's role in Alex's scar may frustrate many of you, so I will give Zev's "catch up story" right now since I doubt I'll go into deep detail about him later.

_Zevran dropped out of high school several months before graduation to move back to his homeland of Antiva and join the most notorious of gangs, the Antiva Crows. Kind of like the mafia, there are several bosses, with one high boss or Godfather. Zev is acting like a bodyguard to one of the bosses when he encounters and mars Alex. Being spared, he is forced into Ferelden servitude for as long as Alex remains with the Wardens. After she retires she may either choose to execute or spare Zevran once again._

Antiva was modeled after Mexico in that the drug lords control the streets and the police are very corrupt (in some Mexican states) and turn a blind eye to drug trafficking and in some cases are clients themselves. Or so I'm lead to believe, the media is very eh.

I have received several comments that having Leliana in a modern fiction would not settle well with them since her background story (Marjolaine's betrayal and her times as a bard) made her character. I believe I have found a way to address those issues but still hold true to the modern feel, which is what I was ultimately going for.


	3. The Good Left Undone

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea (I guess)**

Also, no beta, please excuse any grammar errors.

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><p>"Stop picking at the stiches, Alex!" Wynne exclaimed slapping the soldier's hand away where it was picking the scabs between the several stitches on her right arm.<p>

"But it itches! And I should be on duty right now, not stuck in here," she grumbled annoyed that she had to be on bed leave a full day not the original three hours Wynne had told her. Once they discovered that another stray bullet had managed to pierce her shoulder as well, the time for recovery had to be extended. If things had worked out with Leliana and the Orlesian's response to her flirtations were positive, Alex would not have minded being on bed leave-only if the redhead was at her side of course.

"Don't be such a baby," the much older woman scolded, "you're lucky that whatever they injected you with during your Joining accelerates the healing process or else you too would've been on a plane with the refugees to Kirkwall." Grunting Alex let out an annoyed sigh as Wynne began to put different ointments on her wound.

"Your poor attitude wouldn't have anything to do with that Leliana girl would it?" Wynne asked off handily startling the Warden as she wrapped the stitches on her bicep with gauze to keep the soldier from picking at it again. "Don't act surprised C_aptain_ I've known you long enough to know you play the wounded card to get attention, but this time you're sulking like a kicked puppy and have that scowl of yours plastered on your face for the past several hours. And you haven't even asked about your team, if there were any more Darkspawn or if Alistair is handling the situation alright. This isn't the Cousland I've been working with for years. Snap out of it."

Alex just laid there her expression vacant as she stroked Jerry's head. The mabari whined and nuzzled his master's side as if telling her to tell Wynne the reason for her sourness. With another deep sigh Alex finally spoke, her voice low and tired.

"I really fucked things up with her Wynne. I don't see her in ten years and I treat her like all the others- like she's a quick lay. But she's not! Every day since even before we started dating in high school she's been in my thoughts. The only way I made it through Warden training was her, what I was going to be fighting for. And I get a chance to make things right and what do I do? I fucking imply that all I want is a night of fun but I want so much more than that. And now…ugh!" with a groan of frustration she slapped her hand to her forehead repeating 'stupid, stupid, stupid!' as she continued hitting her forehead with the palm of her left hand. Feeling rather sympathetic for the womanizer, Wynne reached out to stop Alex from continuing the assault on her forehead. "I will talk to her if you want me to, and explain to her perhaps why you were a complete ass and convince the dear to talk to you about the serious things the two of you need to discus. Would you like that?" Alex merely nodded earning a pat on the cheek from Wynne.

"Good girl. And now that you knocked some sense into yourself, it'll do you good to talk to Alistair and discuss tactics until tomorrow," Alex only grunted letting the healer know that the plan was good. "Very well I'll send him in." With that Wynne rose and left sending the other Warden in to see his friend.

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><p>Wynne found Leliana sitting on a stool surrounded by young children as it appeared to look like she was in the middle of a story. Smiling the old nurse pulled a stool up and sat near the group waiting for Leliana to finish. When she finally did and gently told the children no more stories for the day she approached the Warden Nurse with a gentle smile on her face.<p>

"Hello Wynne, is everything alright with Al-Captain Cousland?" she inquired trying to not show too much concern for the Warden whom she had left hours earlier.

"Physically; yes she'll recover fine just needs a day of rest. Emotionally…she's a little distressed. I've known Alex for a long time. But never have I seen her so bent out of shape when a woman dismisses her. She's never told me about how her relationship with you ended, but for many months she was close to depression and talked about 'the most beautiful Orlesian she has ever seen" _all_ the time. And honestly I only think she acted the way she did today because she was scared about messing up if she chose to approach the situation emotionally. Alex is only a womanizing flirting idiot because she's terrified of becoming too attached. And before you ask how I know this, she's told me on several occasions throughout the years. She doesn't know how to deal with her emotions, for a soldier it's easy to point and shoot. But talking to someone you care about is always difficult, especially if you have been away from each other for some time. Give her another chance."

Leliana stood there clearly taking Wynne's words in to account, trying hard to not blush at the fact that Alex had bragged about _her_ being gorgeous. Chewing her lip for a few more moments she finally raised her eyes staring into Wynne's pale blue ones. "Alright," she sighed, "but if she pulls any sexual leers at me, I'm gone. And don't even bother coming to look for me to talk to her again. Okay?" Wynne nodded before turning on her heels to walk back to the makeshift infirmary with Leliana in tow.

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><p>"No Alistair! You don't get it!" Alex whined as she tried to explain what exactly happened between her and the woman she still had some feelings. "I fucked up <em>badly<em>. Everything was going fine and then my big loud mouth just had to say some stupid cheesy, lame, pick-up line I've used probably three times."

Grabbing another pillow she covered her face and yelled. Alistair smirked at his friend's rare display of emotion towards a woman, stroking the rough stubble on his chin he tried to come up with encouraging words to help the ever so smooth Warden who could just about get anyone she wanted if she truly set her mind to it. But Maker, it was futile, he wasn't one to go to for emotional stuff, but Alex was his best friend, the least he could do was try to help out no matter how lame he sounded.

"Well…" he trailed not knowing what to say or do. Twenty minutes ago everything was fine when they discussed the scouts Alex and her team took out. There were only fifteen and no more sightings within the past several hours, but planes were being filled with refugees as they were being relocated to Kirkwall in the Free Marches since Denerim and Redcliffe were quickly becoming over crowded as the news of the strange creatures making a return to Ferelden. "Next time talk about her? And remain serious?" he finally got out "…I guess?" he added weakly. Alex removed the pillow from her face snorting in response.

"No shit Sherlock, not like she wants to talk to me or anything," she muttered a scowl starting to set on her face.

"She does," came a third voice. Startled, both Wardens turned to find Leliana standing there a soft smile on her face with Wynne a few feet back.

"Leliana!" Alistair let out a little too quickly, "it's so nice to see you again. You look great! And ah, well I need to go do…um Grey Warden business…somewhere else that isn't here," he stumbled out giving Leliana a quick kiss to the cheek before leaving.

"Nice to see you too!" she called out after his retreating figure giggling before turning her attention back to the other Warden. "Hey" she offered to the injured Warden sitting where Alistair was moments before.

Alex nodded slightly before answering, "Hey yourself," there was no charismatic smile or witty remark, just a blank hurt expression.

Several long awkward minuets passed before the Captain spoke again. "I'm sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have made those comments at you. You're more than just some random girl that wants to spend a night with someone from the Grey," pausing she reached out taking Leliana's hand into her own. The redhead's gaze moved from the interesting stain on the wall to their joined hands and finally to the piercing eyes of Alex Cousland. She felt her heart skip a beat as she got lost in the cool blue orbs. "Tell me Leli, how have you been hmm? It's been too long. And I say this from the bottom of my heart not because I want anything. But you truly do look beautiful, even more so than when we were teenagers," small smiles graced both of their lips once Alex finished.

She remained quiet and Alex began to gently rub her thumb over the smooth skin of the other woman's hand, patiently waiting for an answer.

"It was hard for me when you left, when we…when we ended things you could say," her voice was soft and she turned her attention back towards their hands. Another deep sigh and she continued:

"I never went to college once I graduated, instead I went back to Orlais in hopes of getting a singing career, luckily I found a job singing in a bar. It really was fun; I met so many people and did crazy things. But the hole in my heart from losing you remained. Months passed and still no news from you or anyone about you. After about a year I lost hope. But that's when I met _her_, Marjolaine. She was in a band called _The Bards_ and needed a backup singer. After about a month of hanging out and getting to know everyone, the music style and whatnot I joined. But that's when I learned I would get more than I bargained for. Six months later I learned they were part of the mob; they were hit men and extortionists. I…I also began a relationship with Marjolaine," a deep red spread across her face as she kept her eyes fixed on their hands. Alex quirked an eyebrow and gave the hand in her grasp light squeeze encouraging Leliana to continue.

"I felt obligated and was kind of forced to join them, to be a part of the family that is. They began training me soon enough. Knives, guns, hand-to-hand, coercion, poisons even. And in no time I was carrying out my own hits. And I was _good_ at it. I enjoyed my new life, drinking, drugs, music, it was intense but addicting. However, that hole was still there, smaller but not filled. Once five years passed, I gave up all hope of seeing you again. I concluded you were killed." Tears began to fall down her face as she whispered the last sentence. Alex scooted as far over as she could on the cot before slightly tugging Leliana's hand motioning for her to lie next to herself. Much to Alex's relief she did. Sliding next to the soldier, Leliana tucked her head into the crook of the Warden's neck feeling the strong arms wrap around her, protecting her from the sins of the past.

Taking a deep sigh she continued:

"Three years ago I got to meet the God Father, in a sense I was being promoted but little did I know that I was also about to be on the run for my life. At some point, Marjolaine was captured by the Orlesian secret service, but instead of owning up to her crimes she struck a deal with them. Wear wires; give them intel from on the inside. I do not know why or her motives, but she placed the wires in my possession and at that time I had documents containing state secrets which were to be planted on a target. Our mission was a failure, and my partner for that particular mission discovered the wires and tracking device Marjolaine had planted on me. He called the others, and I had an immediate hit on myself. Thankfully the secret service showed up and arrested him before he could kill me. But they found the documents in my bag as they searched the area…they didn't arrest me ahead of time since I had the wires, as far as I was concerned, they thought I was on their side, the mole of the mob. Luckily I took off before they discovered the papers. Now I'm wanted by the Orlesian mob _and_ the Secret Service, I needed to flee Orlais as fast as I could. But I couldn't take public transportation. I walked and took as many cabs as I could to and snuck across the Ferelden border. I chose Lothering because it's a quiet tourist town, not much happens. But Alex, if either of them finds me…I'll be killed. If the Mafia finds me, on the spot. And if it's the service, I don't know I don't want to find out, I'm pretty sure I'm on their top ten most wanted list. I'm terrified Alex."

By the time she finished her voice was at a whisper and tears ran freely down her face and onto Alex's beige crew cut shirt. Tightening her grip on the younger woman Alex nuzzled the soft red hair inhaling deeply the scent of strawberries overwhelming her senses. Placing a soft kiss on Leliana's brow the war hero finally spoke.

"I'm sorry I never wrote or called. I should've but if we kept our relationship alive and I went M.I.A. or worse was killed. I couldn't even think about the pain you would've been in, so selfishly I let you think I was dead. But believe me when I say this Leli, if I could, I would give up all my medals, awards _and_ my rank to go back in time and talk to you. This all could've been avoided. As for those hunting you, I can place you under Warden Protection. Meaning that you'll pretty much be untouchable, and if they do try to pull anything, I will kill them myself." Leliana's crying stopped but she was still gasping as Alex continued to mutter sweet nothings to her and place gentle kisses everywhere on her face but those perfect heart-shaped lips. Once her breathing evened out Alex glanced down to find that Leliana had fallen asleep, a peaceful expression on her face. Groping around for a blanket without disturbing Leliana was rather difficult. But once it was over the two of them, Alex closed her eyes and joined the woman in her arms in slumber.

* * *

><p>AN Wow…finally an update eh? I could give a bunch of reasons but that doesn't matter. At first I wasn't going to continue this since I didn't get much feedback, but so many people have been favoriting and adding it to their watch that I knew I just _had_ to continue.

Titles for chapters are those of actual songs, which I also do not own, but I feel like they will work out well with the chapter.

Special thanks to **RatedRSuperStar87** for the idea about Leliana being a part of the mob family! And please leave a review! :D


	4. Young Blood

Upon walking into the infirmary the following morning, Wynne could not help but smile as she saw two of them laying together, Alex' arms wrapped around Leliana's slim frame protecting her from the world. It was a welcome site to the death and destruction she was used to being with Alex, sadly the Warden had her duties and love could not afford to hold her back. Hesitantly she walked up to the cot and gently shook Alex's shoulder without much success.

"Captain," she hissed getting nothing but a groan in response, "Captain Cousland," she tried again shaking the shoulder harder, "ugh Warden Captain Alexandra Cousland," she said more harshly but in a whisper trying to not wake her patient's sleeping companion.

"Huh wha-?" came the startled response before she glanced down in puzzlement as to why her left arm was not moving. Seeing Leliana next to her caused a warm smile to spread across her face, unlike her morning after cocky smirks, this one was filled with tenderness and love. "Thanks Wynne," she whispered turning away from Leliana and to the nurse, a playful glare in her eye "for Leli, not waking me up."

Shaking her head Wynne began to unwrap the gauze to reveal a perfectly healed wound with virtually no visible scar. "Good thing Wardens have superior healing abilities." She noted.

"I suppose," she replied quietly, trying not to wake up the woman sleeping besides her, "does this mean my ass needs to go back on duty?"

"Yes."

"Oh…I don't want to wake her," Alex responded lamely.

"You may be commanding officer, Alex. But you can't slack off with duty because you found a lost love." Releasing another sigh Alex covered her eyes with her right arm. "I'll be back to duty when she's awake. And Wynne, I'm going to ask her to stay in my tent with me, until this mission is over," the Warden's tone was that of one were argument would be futile, staring into the soldier's cold blue eyes Wynne nodded then left to carry on her duties. Skillfully Alex untangled herself from Leliana's hold on her and began donning her uniform and a new ballistic vet before leaning to place a kiss on her bed partner's head. Nudging a sleeping Jerry with a foot, the two quietly walked out, not before Alex stole a glance back smiling.

"How nice of you to join us Captain," Anders' cheery voice rang out as his commanding officer strode forth. Alex grunted in response before pulling her helmet off squatting to address the company she was in charge of.

"Alright guys, we're gonna be on a scouting mission. 800 yards, North side, approximately 220 minutes. It shouldn't be too bad, but prepare for anything. Remember shoot first ask questions later I don't plan on losing a single one of you today. Also this mission will consist of the entire company. Meaning if Alistair or anyone of higher rank gives you an order, you better fuckin' listen, or you'll be fighting butt naked. Capiche?"

A chorus of 'yes captain' was received before Alex slammed her helmet back on her head telling her men to meet back in ten minutes.

"Alistair! A word with you please?" he nodded ducking into Alex's tent, Jerry close on their heels. The loyal mabari would follow either soldier into battle without hesitation; his loyalty had never been challenged. When a fire broke out and the flames engulfed Alistair, the war hound risked his life to pull his master's best friend from certain death, earning him a whole new respect for the hound rose from the other Wardens. Even the greenest of recruits knew that to mess with Jerry was like dancing on the edge of a volcano nude, it was certain death waiting to happen. If Alex loved anything more than her Mabari, it would be damn most important thing to mankind and its survival, because no one interferes with that dog and his master.

"I'm going to ask her to stay with me until this mission is over," she blurted out the second her brother in arms stepped foot into her tent. Alistair stood there in shock blinking in response, blushing Alex repeated herself much slower letting him comprehend her words.

"Ah," he replied lamely, "good luck with that. What about after the mission? You can't take her everywhere you know. Besides the return of the Darkspawn is not a good sign. You'll be called out to duty more often. And remember Christina? That didn't work out too well…"

"I know…but I can't afford to lose her again. I'll talk it over with her, but last night having her in my arms without any sex? That was an amazing feeling I want that again. And honestly, if we tried, like actually tried, we could make a relationship work out," she stared off distantly a ghost of a smile on her lips, "enough of this, let's see if we can take out more of those bastards."

* * *

><p>Hours later a groggy Leliana finally awoke only to discover that she was alone on the cot, a thin blanket covering her. Frowning she threw the covers off, getting out of bed in search of the old nurse to find out where the soldier went. Despite being squished on a cot made for one person with Alex, Leliana felt like it was the first night of peacefulness in the two years she had been on the run. Her constant fear of the Orlesian Secret Service and the mafia made sleep in hotels weary and the constant glancing over the shoulder made her look schizophrenic-although paranoia was being to become evident. The Warden's strong arms offered her the protection she had sought for the past ten years. The evacuation was evident as Leliana moved around the Chantry without pushing or squeezing past anyone. She had to admit, for a reputation of blood thirsty, gory seeking fighters, the Wardens were quite organized and had a plan for nearly everything instead of making up things as they went along.<p>

"Wynne, where has Alex gone?" she asked approaching the nurse who sent a young boy on his way once tending to a cut on his leg.

"She is on active duty, Leliana. They're on a scouting mission, her and her whole team. News from Ostagar came in and it doesn't sound good," a worried look crossed her face as she continued, "Wardens are being wiped out by the dozens, if General Mac Tir doesn't provide back up, the future looks grim. Word has it word has been sent to the Empress of Orlais asking for some of the Chevaliers to aid us. But nothing is certain, the lines at Ostagar have been somewhat broken, Alex must destroy any scouting hostiles to ensure Lothering isn't completely destroyed. I do not know when she'll return, but I know she'll want to speak with you."

The red head merely nodded sorrow etched across her porcelain face. How stupid could she be? Did she truly expect Alex to drop her duty because they found each other? The broke up because of her decision to become a Grey Warden. The Couslands were a line of proud honorable warriors and nobles, from generation to generation they were taught duty above all else. And if anybody knew that concept inside and out it was Alexandra Anne Cousland. Her family's lineage and honor was what brought their teenage relationship to an end. Now that they were adults perhaps a relationship could bloom again. "Until they return do you need help with tending to patients? I'm no doctor but I know a bit."

Wynne nodded leading the younger woman towards the line of cots, distress carved on both of their faces.

* * *

><p>"Take it down! Take it down!" Alex shouted frantically as she released a storm of bullets towards the twelve foot monster: ogre, that's what the drawings of old said it was. The creature was huge, the horns added at least another four or five feet to it. And boy was it nearly impossible to kill. Alex alone had gone through nearly three clips of ammo –all rounds struck the monster- and the ogre barely seemed fazed.<p>

Combing through the forest set the Wardens on edge, they could _feel_ the light pressure from the darkspawn but could not determine, exactly where they lingered or how many were present. Alex's frustration was clear when broke her Company up into three sub-units determined to flush the scouts out. Team beta encountered a group of fifteen and easily took them out, but when the Ogre and twenty more darkspawn ambushed them all hell broke through as three men were killed and Daveth critically wounded. The frantic shouts being radioed to Alex terrified as she ordered her team and gamma to back up the rest of her squad. After going through another magazine and having another one of her men go down, the ogre and darkspawn were eliminated.

"We need to move out now if you want him to live," Anders stated, the cheerfulness in his voice gone as he frantically worked to save Daveth's life, as the man lay groaning in agony.

Alex nodded, surveying the area, the ground was stained with blood and empty shells along with discarded clips, trees uprooted and destroyed. One of her men lay a bloody pulp while the others were filled with enemy bullets. "Jerry, go back, nudge Wynne she'll know it's an emergency," without hesitation the Mabari bolted off.

"Grab the fallen, we're going back. Lothering needs to be evacuated _today_. I'm not risking any more lives. And I'm sure as hell aren't leaving these good men to rest with this filth," she snarled in disgust nudging a darkspawn with her boot. Perhaps this could be a Blight like the tales of old, when the Wardens had Griffon mounts and dragons were battled by the bravest of warriors, heroes got the girl, and Kings were gallant. Sadly, those were just stories, this was the real world, people got shot and died, politicians schemed into reelection and sent the soldiers to do their dirty work and the hero didn't get the girl. And frankly to her, real life sucked, she would get rewarded, maybe become Major Cousland and earn a medal or two, but that didn't matter to her; if she could, she'd trade it all in to have those three heroes alive. Her team was one of the most decorated Company of Grey Wardens, but such an honor came at a price. The high risk missions she accepted were rewarded handsomely but the price paid for the honors were greater. In five years Alex alone lost over one hundred men all in the sake of glory.

_This mission, I will lose no more than ten if need be I will finally sacrifice myself. All in the name of honor and glory._

* * *

><p>"Alex!" turning the Warden saw a flash of red running towards her, opening her arms she caught the Orlesian, not caring about the stares as she felt her legs wrap around her middle. "Oh Alex…"<p>

"Come on, let's go to my tent," she muttered setting Leliana down, "corporal, tell everyone to clean up and relax tonight." The man gave a curt nod before carrying out his order.

"Oh Alex, Wynne told me that things aren't looking good! That the lines at Ostagar have been broken. Does that mean you'll be sent there?" Leliana rambled pacing in Alex's tent as the soldier sat at her makeshift desk head in her hands breathing deeply. She was captain damnit! The mission should have been done within a day or two with no casualties. But this...this wasn't worth becoming a Major; she was going to lose Leliana again it was inevitable.

"Stay with me." She muttered stopping the Orlesian in her tracts, as she spun on her heel to regard the Warden.

"What?"

"Stay with me. I need you. I'll protect you from everything," she was standing now, the cold blue eyes fixed on Leliana a pleading look on her face in hopes of getting the Orlesian to stake up her offer.

"Alex…" she trailed off not sure how to respond. Of course she wanted to be with Alex! But the timing was all wrong. A war with the once thought-to-be-extinct-darkspawn seem inevitable and there was no doubt Alex would be forced to serve for her country yet again. Was following a soldier all across Ferelden worth it? It would be the safest thing, but also the most dangerous.

"Please…" Alex pleaded again closing the distance between them leaning down to rest her forehead against Leliana's, arms encircling the slim waist, "I want to wake up with you in my arms. Die knowing I did at least one thing right during my ten years of service" she muttered keeping her eyes closed. Her head slid down into the crook of Leliana's neck where she nuzzled the soft hair and pressed a kiss to the slender neck.

"I need you."

Leaning back she grasped Alex's head forcing those hypnotic eyes to look into her own clear blue ones.

"Yes."

It was all Alex needed, without a second to spare she crashed her lips to Leliana's slipping her tongue into the other woman's mouth as the redhead moaned brining her arms around _her_ Warden's neck. Wasting no time Alex began walking Leliana back towards her bed, breaking their kiss to remove the Orlesian's shirt before gently pushing her down onto the mattress, slowly climbing on top, reclaiming those lips in another searing kiss. Drawing back she offered a small smile as she stared into those cobalt eyes.

"I never stopped loving you." Alex whispered leaned back down to kiss the slender pale neck, "always loved you."

Leliana felt her breath catch, a slow smile spread across her face at the soldiers words.

"Oh Alex," she whispered back, reaching her hands up to tangle into the cropped hair before surrendering to the passion.

* * *

><p>Woohoo! An update! Sorry for grammar and spelling, I do not have a beta. Also I know it's a bit heavy on romance, but I'm a hopeless romantic so sue me haha.<p>

I'm not too sure where this story is exactly going but I do not think I will follow the story line (this is set in the future after all!). I have a few ideas for chapters, and once my quarter is finished I will have a month off of school!

Thanks to those who have reviewed, favorite and are watching this story!


	5. Author's Note sorry to disappoint

Hey everyone! I know that I've neglected this story and I'm really sorry about that. School got a little crazy but I'll be out next week so be expecting a chapter soon! The inspiration for this left me but I'm pretty sure I know where I want this story to go. As of now I have a one-shot in the works and I will most likely post that up first before working on chapter five of this story.

However, I did go back and make some edits to the chapters, mainly cleaned up grammar and spelling (I never realized how bad my dyslexia was…eek). Hopefully most of the mistakes should be taken care of. I will edit chapter four very soon, but if you see any other problems in the first three chapters let me know!

Once again, sorry for the lack of updates, one will be coming soon as will a quick oneshot (AU high school setting somewhat of a prequel and will somewhat tie into this one). Thanks to all of those sticking through with me!


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